Like We Never Loved At All
by MustBeAWriter
Summary: New Year's songfic. A New Year's party, misplaced dates, and a drunk Natalia. Can one night of confessions fix six months of confusion?


_*So, the idea for this randomly popped into my head a few weeks ago. I feel like that's been happening a lot lately, btw. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this little New Year's piece I cooked up for you. Happy Reading!_

* * *

_How can you just walk on by_

_Without one tear in your eye?_

_Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_

_Maybe that's just your way_

_Of dealing with the pain_

_Forgetting everything between our rise and fall_

_Like we never loved at all_

* * *

(Eric)

Eric could never remember being this nervous for a party before, unless he counted parties from middle school and high school, which he didn't. Parties had rarely bothered Eric as an adult, even if he only knew one person. He figured not many people had the problem he had now; knowing too many people at a party.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked his date, Olivia. "I'm totally fine with skipping it if you feel uncomfortable." She dashed his hopes by laughing.

"Eric, it's fine," she replied. "I'll have fun tonight, no matter where we go. Besides, I really want to meet your friends. You talk about them so much; I want to see if they're really as great as they sound."

"They're not," Eric lied. "Seriously, most of them are really weird. They'll probably freak you out and make you never want to speak to me again." One look at Olivia's face told him she wasn't buying it.

"C'mon," she said, climbing out of the car. "Man up, Delko. It's just a work party; nothing to be scared of."

Eric sighed and followed Olivia inside the club where MDPD was hosting its New Year's party. It was barely eight o'clock and the club was already packed. He spotted Walter and Natalia standing off to one side, and he led Olivia through the crowd toward them.

"Eric!" Natalia squealed, throwing her arms around him. "It's about time you got here."

"It's not like I was going to miss the ball drop, Nat," Eric said, pulling out of her hug. He eyed the drink in her hand. "How many of those has she had?" he asked Walter.

Walter shrugged. "I dunno, man. She'd already started when I got here, and that is her third or fourth since then."

Eric raised an eyebrow at Natalia, who scowled back. "I'm not drunk, Eric. This is only my fifth drink of the night, and I, unlike Valera, can hold my liquor."

"Is Valera here, then?" Eric asked, receiving a nod. "How 'bout…Ryan?"

"Ryan can't come tonight, remember?" Walter replied. "He's working."

Natalia rolled her eyes, seeing right through Eric. "Calleigh got here about half an hour ago. We talked for like five minutes before she dragged her date to the dance floor. Speaking of dates," she added, only just noticing Olivia. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, crap. I'm sorry. Olivia, this is Natalia Boa Vista and Walter Simmons. Nat, Walter, this is my date, Olivia Riley. She works with my sister."

Olivia smiled at them. "It's nice to meet you," she said. "Eric's told me so much about everyone that he works with."

"Only good things, I hope," a familiar voice piped up behind them. Eric didn't turn to face Calleigh just yet. He wanted to avoid looking or sounding like an idiot for as long as possible.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I'm Calleigh Duquesne. I've worked with Eric for…"

"Thirteen years," Olivia finished for her. "Eric told me. He talks about you guys a lot."

"So, did I hear Eric say you work with his sister?"

"Yep, Ana. She's the one that introduced us."

"That's sweet. How is Ana doing, Eric?" Calliegh asked.

"She's doing great," he replied, finally looking at her. Eric lost his train of thought when he took in Calleigh's appearance. She was wearing dark skinny jeans with black stilettos and a green halter top, her hair pulled into a sleek twist. "She's, um, actually she's pregnant," Eric added, once he regained his power of speech.

Calleigh's eyes widened. "Again?" she asked. "Four kids weren't enough?"

Eric laughed. "I guess not," he said, watching her eyes light up as she laughed with him. "You look really nice," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

The light in her eyes faded a little. "Thanks, Eric."

"So," Natalia said. "Where's Donny, or David, or whatever his name was?"

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "Daniel and he's around here somewhere," she said, scanning the crowd. "Oh, there he is," she said, pointing to the front of the club.

Eric followed her gaze, catching sight of a tall, muscular man with blond hair leaning against the wall, talking to Valera. "Is that him?" Eric asked. "Surfer boy by the window? Chatting up Maxine?"

Calleigh sighed. "Yeah, that's Daniel. I'm gonna go rescue him," she said with a dry chuckle. "Olivia, it was nice to meet you. See you later, Eric."

Eric watched her go for a moment. He needed a way to get Calleigh off his mind for a while; something that would keep him from beating the crap out of Daniel for no other reason than he was Calleigh's date. He turned to Olivia, smiling. "Liv, would you like to dance?"

(Calleigh)

Calleigh was grateful for the small, out-of-the-way bathroom that no one else in the club seemed to know about. It offered her privacy, somewhere where she could break down in peace. She had been doing just fine until Eric walked in with his date. Seeing him with someone else had shaken her. Calleigh had thought that they still shared some feelings for each other outside of friendship, but she was obviously mistaken. Daniel's presence hadn't even fazed him. Eric had moved on, and Calleigh's heart was breaking.

Calleigh froze when she heard the door open. She thought about hiding in the stall, but she was caught before she could move.

"Calleigh?" It was Natalia, her speech slurred a little by the amount of alcohol she'd consumed. "Cal, honey are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Nat," Calleigh replied, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I just needed some privacy, that's all."

"Oh my god, are you crying?" Natalia asked, kneeling in front of Calleigh.

Calleigh looked her friend in the eyes. "Not anymore."

Natalia winced. "God, Cal, you look like a mess."

"I feel like one, too."

"How long have you been hiding in here?"

"Since Daniel ditched me for Maxine, so about an hour and a half."

"And you've been crying this whole time? Over what?"

Calleigh raised an eyebrow. "You really can't guess?"

Natalia's eyes lit up. "Eric?"

"Eric." Calleigh paused for a moment. "Is is stupid that I'm hiding in here crying over him?"

"Yes," Natalia said. "Especially when you could be out there, telling him exactly how you feel about him." She paused. "How do you feel about him, exactly?"

"I love him," Calleigh replied.

Natalia frowned. "Then why the hell did you break up with him?"

"I got scared," Calleigh said. "I've never felt like this about anyone. I mean, I've been in love before, but it was never this intense. I was always in control, but Eric just shook everything up. I got scared," she repeated. "I thought it would be easier if I tried to pretend that the past two years never happened. If I pretended that we were never in love, it would make the pain more bearable."

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Natalia said.

"It didn't work at all. It didn't make this any easier." Calleigh sighed. "I knew he would move on eventually. I just wasn't expecting it to happen so soon."

"This is pathetic, Calleigh," Natalia snapped. "You know what you have to do. You have to go out there and tell Eric everything you just told me. Tell him that you love him and that you miss him and that seeing him with someone else is tearing you up inside. And then, at midnight, you kiss him."

"Nat…"

"No excuses, Calleigh. Eric will listen and he will take you back, I guarantee it. I promise you, Cal, he has not moved on. Now, get up, get yourself cleaned up, and get out there."

Calleigh stood up and looked in the mirror. Her hair was falling out of its twist, her eyes were red, and her make-up was ruined. She washed her face, removing all of her make-up and not bothering to reapply any of it. She pulled her hair the rest of the way out of the twist, letting it fall around her shoulders. She glanced in the mirror before looking to Natalia for approval.

"How do I look?"

"You still look scared to death, but it's a definite improvement."

Calliegh smiled. "Has anyone ever told you you're very blunt when you're drunk?"

Natalia glared at her. "I am not drunk," she said indignantly. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"How many drinks have you had so far tonight?" Calleigh asked, raising an eyebrow.

Natalia paused. "Okay, maybe I'm a little drunk…"

(Eric)

"You love her, don't you?"

Eric looked at Olivia, completely caught off-guard. "Um, what?"

Olivia smiled. "The blonde, Calleigh. You're in love with her," she said.

Eric thought about denying it, but couldn't. "Yeah," he admitted. "Not like it makes any difference now."

"Why not?"

Eric sighed. "I told her. About six months ago. A few weeks later, she tells me she needs some time alone and we've been doing this ever since. Pretending like we've only ever been friends," he added when Olivia looked confused.

"Eric, I'm not the one you need to be talking to about this," Olivia said. "Talk to Calleigh. Tell her how you feel. At least tell her that this is bothering you. What's the worst that could happen?"

Eric frowned. "Liv, what about you? What are you gonna do?"

She grinned. "I am going to find that cutie you introduced me to earlier; Walter. He looked like he could use a midnight kiss."

"Thanks for understanding, Liv," Eric said.

"Not a problem. Like I said, I'd have fun no matter what. How 'bout one more dance then you go find Calleigh."

Eric checked the time. He would be cutting it close to midnight as it was. "Alright," he sighed. "Like you said, what's the worst that could happen?"

(Calleigh)

Calleigh was sitting at the bar, trying to work up the nerve to find Eric, when she heard his voice behind her. "Is this seat taken?"

"Not at all," she said, turning to smile at him. "So…where's Olivia?" she asked.

Eric shrugged. "Somewhere with Walter. Where's Daniel?"

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "Somewhere with Valera."

"Guess he didn't need rescuing after all," Eric said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Calleigh agreed softly. "I was actually about to come find you," she said, not meeting his eye.

"Really?"

"Yeah. There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay," he prompted.

Calleigh's heart was hammering. This was too easy. It had always been too easy with Eric; too easy to trust him, too easy to tell him everything she'd kept bottled up, too easy to lay her heart on the line again and again, too easy to love him. She was terrified by the knowledge that she could easily tell him everything right now. "I miss you," she whispered.

"What?" He obviously hadn't been expecting this.

"I miss you, Eric. I miss you more than I can say. I miss falling asleep and waking up in your arms. I miss how we were before I got scared and screwed everything up."

"Calleigh…"

"I shouldn't have done it, Eric. I shouldn't have left you the way I did. I shouldn't have left you at all." She paused to collect her thoughts. "These past six months should never have happened. I should never have tried to pretend that I didn't love you."

She tried to say more, but Eric's hand on hers stopped her. "I've missed you too. Actually," he said, smiling. "I was coming over here to tell you just how much I've missed you. And that I'm tired of this game we've been playing. I can't go on pretending I don't love you, Calleigh."

Calleigh was speechless. Through the raging turmoil in her mind, she could just barely hear the countdown to midnight. "Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one… "

Without thinking, Calleigh leaned over and kissed Eric, pulling back after just a few moments. She looked up at him tentatively. He was shocked, but smiling.

"So," she asked. "Where do we go from here?"

(Eric)

"So, where do we go from here?"

Eric wasn't sure he could articulate an answer. He wasn't entirely sure he wasn't dreaming at this point. Calleigh was looking at him expectantly, and he realized that he hadn't said anything yet. "Well," he started. "Since it's a new year, we could try a fresh start."

Calleigh smiled. "I can live with that."

"But," he added. "There has to be complete honesty between us, Cal. No more secrets, no more lies, no holding back. You don't have to be scared to tell me anything."

"I know," she whispered, looking down. "You know this isn't going to be easy for me, Eric."

He nodded. "But it's better than the alternative, right?"

"Calleigh! Eric! There you are!" Natalia appeared out of nowhere, dragging Walter along behind her. She handed them glasses of champagne. "We have to make a toast!"

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "Whose turn is it this year, Nat?"

Natalia studied the three of them before deciding. "Eric's."

Eric raised his glass, catching Calleigh's eye. "Here's to fresh starts, new beginnings, and to the end of a year we'll never forget. Happy New Year."

* * *

_*Wow, I was not expecting this to be so difficult. I'm not entirely sure about the ending, but I hope you all enjoy it. Happy New Year everyone!_


End file.
